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Congratulations if you’re the proud new parent of your first baby who’ll be experiencing the Christmas holiday for the first time this year! No doubt you’re excited about the novelty of everything surrounding your baby’s first Christmas! While the rest of us want to celebrate with you, it’s only fair that you know the realities many of us have experienced when in your shoes. Here are the Top 10 Reasons Christmas Will Never Be The Same After Baby:
10 Christmas will now fall under all other major holidays and most days of the week as a fun challenge in overcoming sleep deprivation.
9 If you attend church, it’s possible that you’ll be asked to hand off your precious baby to a total stranger who’ll attempt to keep him or her from crying as baby Jesus during the nativity pageant. You are under no obligation to say yes to this, as the pageant would work just fine with a doll.
8 People you barely knew from church and community as a childless person will suddenly be enchanted with you because they now associate you as the family type. Try not to be shocked at this sudden change of tone when you encounter people at holiday events.
7 If you’re accustomed to traveling to visit relatives over the holidays, you’ll need to allow extra time for every aspect of travel, from diaper changing on a long car trip to soothing your baby in a busy airport to changing baby’s clothes after the latest spit-up incident. Whatever time you expect to arrive at your relatives’ house, add 3 hours just to be on the safe side.
6 If you’re hosting the Christmas get-together, it will be harder this time around. Be prepared to diplomatically educate guests on new household customs. If your baby needs a nap, you may have to excuse yourself for a while, even with guests in the house. If your baby is crawling and you’ve established a no-shoes-in-the-house policy to limit tracking in toxic chemicals and bacteria on shoes, you may have to be firm about this, just as you would be about smoking around your baby. Guests will probably be glad to assist with some meal-prepping or cleanup tasks if you let them know how they can help.
5 When you gather with them for Christmas, at least one of your relatives will hint at when a baby brother or sister will be coming along. Even if you just delivered 2 months earlier via cesarean, they will bring up the subject.
4 Don’t expect gift giving from relatives or friends to necessarily be about you anymore. Many families at some point in time establish a for-children-only rule. You might want to inquire about this in order to avoid awkward gift-exchange moments.
3 Be prepared for oodles of unsolicited childcare advice! If, like many modern parents, you cloth diaper and baby carry and breastfeed, someone from an earlier generation probably did something different. Try to resist the urge to convince these well-meaning relatives that they were wrong while listening to their sometimes misguided ideas about things like why you should be diapering with baby powder or supplementing with formula.
2 Someone will try to feed your exclusively breastfeeding child mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie or even candy just to let them have a taste and not leave them feeling left out. Bring along your most stylish nursing cover and breastfeed with confidence while also strategically shielding baby from unwelcome gestures.
1 Santa will make your child cry. Be prepared, don’t be shocked, and for the love of God, don’t let this go on for more than the few seconds it takes for the photographer to take that photo for your family album. Other than the church nativity pageant, when would a reasonable person hand their baby to a total stranger? Welcome to the world of parenting, where otherwise sane individuals suddenly do ridiculous things because they’re crazy about their kids!